Beyond gratitude

Gratitude is such an amazing feeling and it does not even have to be for something big.

The energy of gratitude is the same whether I’m thanking God for the scent of a flower I came across while walking in the park, or for news of a loved one healing from a disease.

Yes, intensity could differe, but the nature of this energy, the fabric, is the same. You can turn the volume up as much as you want even for the smallest of things.

Gratitude is an energy that’s always present. It moves with you and through you all the time even when you’re not aware of it. It’s there waiting for you to notice it, to tap into it, to let it take over your heart, fill it up and send it radiating through your veins.

Yet gratitude in its nature mostly implies that there is something different from you that you’re thankful for. Something that may be outside or inside of you.

I’m not saying that it exists essentially in separation, but it exists in duality. And if you are thanking someone for something. Then there’s a third presence there.

You, the thing you’re grateful for, and the person or entity you are grateful to.

For example, thanking God for health, feeling grateful to a friend who did you a favour, thanking nature for the sun’s warmth or summer’s fruits, or being grateful to yourself for showing strength during a challenging time.

The I who’s thankful…

The someone I’m thankful to…

The what I’m thankful for…

After days, months and years of gratitude, especially if you’re a person who has taken this as a daily practice, you arrive at a point where gratitude no longer feels the same. Dare I say that it loses its lustre? No…. that’s not it. But it feels different.

I remember how it felt months ago. Everytime I started to express my gratitude, a warm sensation washed over my body and filled it with goosebumps. I remember a sense of elation when I wrote down how grateful I am to God for realising something, a life lesson, or an answer to a question.

I don’t feel this anymore.

My gratitude is still there. I just feel it was elevated. I don’t see the duality anymore; I don’t see the three parts. I see only me.

I am tempted to say that it’s a higher feeling or state than what I used to feel before, but I’m not confident it is… it just sends me higher.

What I feel now can be described as oneness.

How can I be grateful to someone for something when they are all me? when we are all one?

The flower, the creator and I are all one and the same. With this knowing, the sensation goes beyond gratitude.

There’s nothing to be grateful for.

There only is.

This might not make sense because it’s not something made to be comprehended by the mind; it’s a state that is only felt … Maybe not even felt…. it’s a knowing, a discovery.

I do miss the feelings that used to wash over me when I did my gratitude meditation or journal, but they have now been replaced with a deep, deep sense of love to this world.

A sense of merging.

And when fully embodied, it’s sweeter than anything I’ve ever felt my entire life.