The other day I woke up with a delicious feeling of femininity and a deep sense of what it means to be a woman in a relationship. Although there was no one lying next to me, I imagined what it would be like to experience a loving relationship with a masculine man whose presence oozes safety and reassurance. I imagined how my feelings and affection as a woman would naturally pour onto him in the morning because of the safe space he creates between us.
At that moment, I thought of the role I could play in such a dynamic. I was inspired to think of myself not as a person with a contribution to the relationship, but as an experience a man like him could have throughout his day.
I know this might sound as though I’m suggesting that a woman’s role is to please a man. But that’s not what I mean. The experience I’m describing isn’t something I would be giving only to him, it would be just as deeply fulfilling for me, perhaps even more. In my imagination, it would be just as pleasurable for me as it would be for him.
The magic of the unknown
If we think of it this way:
we humans love to go out for a meal, partly for the food but mostly for the experience. It’s as though stepping into the unknown brings a kind of magic that could create spontaneous moments of closeness and deeply memorable connections.
What if we think about our place in a relationship in the same way?
What if, instead of bringing a persona into the dynamic, we choose to bring an experience? What would that look like? And more importantly, what would it feel like?
I cannot speak for men, but I can ask myself this: What do I want the man I love to feel when we’re together?
That’s where creativity comes in, inviting me to paint an experience that leads him – and me – to feel a certain way.
What’s interesting, and frankly surprising to me, is that answering this question feels much easier than answering, “What can I bring to the relationship as a woman?”
Simply asking myself this brings forth a flood of feelings, sensations, colours, tastes, smells, and movements that come together to create an experience I would deeply enjoy as a woman, and that he, in his own way, would enjoy as a man.
Your being is your heartprint
The idea of thinking of myself as a living experience throughout the day feels deeply intimate to me in a strange but fulfilling way. It makes me soften. It connects me to that delicious, sensual energy I carry within me and so deeply want to share.
Not only does it inspire a great deal of creativity, but it also feels much lighter and easier to embody. It lifts the burden of wondering what I should do versus what I should feel or experience. It allows me to be rather than do. To simply be a woman.
And since every experience is unique, it allows me to be unique.
It allows every woman to be unique. It leaves so much more room for creativity and individuality. Room to invent a special touch (the heartprint, if we can call it that), which can easily be lost when we’re focused on what we’re supposed to do rather than be.
The idea also carries a sense of mystery, throwing out the window all the clichés, indoctrinated roles, and expected behaviours of a woman in a relationship.
No plans.
No blueprints.
No structure.
No to-do list.
No one-size-fits-all persona.
Just going with the flow of what feels right in the moment, inspired by the energy in the relationship that day.
It’s such a liberating feeling!
It’s as though my body is returning to where it belongs, as though everything is finally falling perfectly into place, dynamic, fluid, and full of flow.
It all begins with one question. Whether we’re looking at it through the lens of a romantic relationship or from a broader perspective (family, friendship, our relationship with the universe, or even with ourselves) it remains the same:
What is the feeling I wish to experience or bring today?
Manal's Blog 
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