From head to heart

Yesterday, something happened that triggered me harder than I expected.

My ego was the first to jump into defence. My inner child stompped her feet, she felt neglected, like she didn’t matter.

A swell of emotions was about to take over my entire being.

But my heart stepped in and saved the moment.

A few minutes after the trigger passed, I slowed down inside and pulled my energy back.

I was still upset, but I redirected my attention from my restless head to my heart.

And although it took a little while, the heavy energy eventually moved through me, leaving behind a small residue of sadness and a lesson to be learned.

Before my embodied writing practice, an experience like this could have sent me into warrior mode for days. Even when I was in the wrong.

Even worse, it could have escalated into a major argument that sent me spiraling, overthinking everything.

Why?

Who’s to blame?

What does this mean?

What should I have done differently?

Did I really have to get emotional?

Questions that do nothing to soothe my nerves, and everything to keep the uneasy energy alive.

This time, instead, I let myself feel into my womb. I gave the experience space to exist without fighting it. I held my inner child, and sat there with her.

To be angry.

To be sad.

To be embarrassed.

To be heartbroken.

It’s all alright. 💕

Today, it was still uneasy.

This morning, my heart was still heavy, and my head was still asking questions.

It was seeking comfort in answers; in understanding why I was triggered in the first place, and what my reaction says about my self-worth.

I used to open my journal and spill all my thoughts and questions out. But this practice rarely settled my heart, rarely felt truly grounding.

It was simply another spiral disguised as self-understanding.

But again today, I chose to let the questions drift past me like clouds across a window. Watching them softly, while holding my heart like a warm cup of tea in my hands. Breathing into this space I create for myself.

It feels very delicious, and do you know what the best part is? my head is not angry at not having answers.

The little girl simply wants to ask. I know she is not really looking for answers.

A couple more breaths inward, and a little writing from the present moment, sends my heart into such a blissful, restful place.

All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good; and out of every experience, only good comes, and I am safe.

Slowly, I am washed by a warm embrace of gratitude. And just the fact that what happened brought this post to life… brings me to tears.

❤