Chapter 1: The Weight of Arrival
Chapter 2: Roots of Resilience
Chapter 3: Her Success Backfires
Chapter 4: A Fragile Sense of Pride

Chapter 5: Sacrificing Half a Smile

In the midst of it all, she decided to take a break and visit her family back home. She absorbed her parents’ welcoming hugs and loving attention, like a dry sponge soaking up water. They breathed life back into her, brought her back to laughter and showered her with affection as they attentively listened to the achievements she made and the challenges she faced over the past two years.

The hours she spent during the day catching up with friends, going out with her siblings, or just playing with her five-month-old nephew kept her negative thoughts at bay. But at night, her anxiety came back with full force. Social media reels and stories distracted her for hours in the darkness, but the moment she turned off the screen, her thoughts came flooding back.

At a family dinner, seated at a table of twelve that brought the whole family together, her brother-in-law noticed something unusual about her. As an ophthalmologist, he could quickly tell that something was wrong with the left side of her face.

“Are you okay? Your face looks tired,” he said. “Yeah, I’m okay. I must’ve slept in an awkward position last night,” she answered. “Do you feel a type of eye irritation or numbness in your left jaw?”

“Well, yeah! My left eye is quite dry and teary and my left jaw feels like I’ve received local anaesthesia at the dentist.” He hesitated for a moment before he said, “Sorry to spoil the fun, but you’re showing signs of Bell’s palsy.”

“Bell’s palsy?! What’s that?” she asked. “It’s a type of facial paralysis, in many cases unexplained. But it’s essentially a damage of a facial nerve.” She paused briefly then asked, “Is it dangerous?”

“It’s not dangerous, but it could take time to heal. You need to go immediately to the nearest pharmacy and start a course of steroids tonight.” He then wrote the name of the medicine on a napkin and handed it to her. “The longer you wait, the longer it will take the nerve to heal. And I suggest you go to a neurologist tomorrow morning and have it checked.”

The next day, her symptoms worsened, and she couldn’t close her left eye. The neurologist she visited confirmed the condition and put her on additional medication, vitamins and injections to start right away while she’s on vacation. When she asked about the causes, he explained that accumulated stress could be a significant factor.

“When can I start moving my facial muscles again?” she asked. “No guarantees, but it won’t be a matter of days—more like weeks or even months.”

The doctor was kind enough to grant her a two-week sick leave, giving her the chance to stay with her family while receiving treatment.

Gazing at her reflection in the bathroom’s smudged mirror, she tried to smile for what felt like the millionth time, hoping the corner of her lip would finally move. But as only one side of her face responded, leaving the other completely still, a wave of despair washed over her, plunging her into an episode of depression and deep inner reflection.

I cannot believe this is happening! How did I get here?!

Why am I losing everything that defines who I am?!

I don’t even recognise myself right now!

What am I going to do?

If this doesn’t heal in two weeks, people at the office will see I was defeated!

I cannot let them see me broken!

Was all this stress worth it?!

What does this all mean?!

Am I ever going to smile again?

She shut herself in the bedroom for days. The only time she left the house was to visit the nearby hospital for the injections the doctor prescribed. She started questioning everything she ever accomplished in her life – even the smallest that she once believed made her personality unique.

None of this has value to me anymore!

Were they even real? Was I living a lie all this time?

Who am I? Was work the only valuable thing in my life?

Is that who I want to be?

******

Final chapter to come: A Cup of Coffee, a Wake-Up Call…

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