Today is my 44th birthday 🥳

It’s a bit surreal looking at this number, honestly; I don’t relate to it at all! I feel much younger (and look much younger thanks to God and good genes 😉).

What a year!

What a year, indeed! It has been quite intense, with intense interactions, deep lessons and surprising revelations. But I wouldn’t change a thing! (Except for longer vacation days 😄)

I experienced elation and isolation, peace and anxiety; I have been on cloud nine and I have hit rock bottom; I had days when I walked with a spring in my step and days when I prayed I don’t wake up.

I was loved by some, resented by some; ignored by some and sought after by some. There were times when I equated my value with the clothes I wear and the people I have around, and there were times when nothing material mattered.

What’s brilliant about this is that none of it lasted! nothing ever does! And that’s a blessing.

Really? Nothing to change?

Well… yes I could’ve been quieter or let some things go without confrontation; and yes I could’ve chosen to keep toxic people around me for the sake of maintaining “friendships”.

Yes I could’ve chosen niceness over kindness just to stay popular; and yes I could’ve eaten less, lost weight to appeal to someone. But had I done that, I would’ve only postponed my growth just another day, month, year – who knows?

Not only that. But I would’ve missed out on some of the deepest and most genuine conversations and connections I’ve ever had. I would’ve missed out on some of the most vulnerable moments that led me to feel deeper love towards people and myself.

Every event, every letdown, every cringy interaction held a gem there for me. Avoiding this is avoiding life itself.

It’s just a rain check with your future self that will be redeemed sooner or later.

Seriously, what a paradox!

What a curious journey we’re on! And it’s curiouser that we’re on it together!

So in my morning journal today, I gifted myself the virtue of forgiveness.

Forgiving others, who I thought had done me wrong but in reality had done me a favour. And forgiving myself for every time I judged her because she wasn’t as perfect as I wanted her to be.

In reality, there’s nothing to forgive. Everything is going according to divine plan. And I’m loving every moment of it!

Gratitude was and will always be the theme 🩵

The level of gratitude I feel for God and for everyone and everything that shaped who I am today – as imperfect as I am – is beyond words! So Thank You, and…

Happy Birthday to me 🥳