Chapter 1: The Weight of Arrival
Chapter 2: Roots of Resilience
Chapter 3: Her Success Backfires

Chapter 4: A Fragile Sense of Pride

The company’s stark white logo on the great revolving glass door she walked through every morning was a glaring reminder of how far she had come. Although the door led to the essentially empty reception hall, her pride swelled each time her name glowed on the black clocking screen.

She became the centre of her own attention, blind to the expressions of insecurity and fear on her colleague’s face – Cheryl, who longed to be part of her success. Little did she know that her lack of emotional intelligence and failure to include the rest of the team drove people away. The ideas that were once eagerly welcomed now repelled those around her; even the team leader started to understand Cheryl’s frustration.

The office halls were designed to foster open communication, yet the company’s colour palette of blues, greys and blacks did little to warm relationships. Her choice of desk, though unintentional, reflected her growing self-absorption.

Every day, she stationed herself at the desk on the far corner of the hall – a solitary spot that later heightened her sense of isolation. She sat with her back to the white wall and her face hidden behind two towering screens and the cushioned divider that separated each desk. Meanwhile, her colleagues clustered together on the opposite side, their backs turned to one another, often exchanging laughter and comments openly and freely.

She hadn’t entirely withdrawn from office interactions and made an effort to engage whenever she could, but she could feel the emotional tension in the room build with time. While her relationships outside the team flourished, her attempts to create affinity with Cheryl failed. A year passed and she eventually realised there was damage that she caused and it was irreversible.

Cheryl, someone who steered clear of any form of conflict and found safety in avoiding serious conversations, chose to protect herself by never addressing her colleague or meeting her gaze. As time passed, the sense of passive aggression between the two became clear to the rest of the team. It was obvious that Cheryl had resorted to the silent treatment as a form of punishment. Cheryl was also emotionally smarter. Her self-control stood as a stark contrast to her colleague’s growing irritation, which became increasingly visible with each day of silent treatment.

Many questions occupied her mind: Why is Cheryl treating me like this? Why is the team leader not supporting my ideas anymore? Am I a bad and unlovable person? Their repetitive, anxious nature sent her down the dark valley of self-doubt. Her ego and self-esteem took a painful hit every time Cheryl and the team leader ignored her.

Hanging on a thread, she resorted to buying the most expensive items she could find, thinking they could save her sense of worth. But flashing her luxury handbags, branded scarves and high-end shoes brought nothing but temporary satisfaction that later sent her into aching loneliness. Despite her tries, her isolation deepened to a suffocating intensity. She began having panic attacks haunted by the fear of being replaced and losing her job. That was when her count of sleepless nights surpassed her ability to bear.

******

Chapter 5: Sacrificing Half a Smile… comes next

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