If you’re anything like me, you might sometimes have a naïve outlook to the world when you first start a new job.

That’s when you come genuinely excited to meet everyone, thinking they’ll welcome you with open arms, teach you everything and do whatever it takes to fully integrate you and lift you up so you can become as productive as you can.

This might be the case in many start-ups, smaller businesses and companies that are now shifting away from the typical corporate career-ladder mentality.

But in the classic survival-of-the-fittest world, the dynamic changes especially when you begin to attract the attention of the senior management with your ideas and enthusiasm.

Then one back-handed compliment after the other, you slowly wake up and start thinking, “did she (or he) really mean what I think she/he meant?”

Something like: “Thank you very much for doing the leg work for this project.” Or, “Oh, I can see that this is all so new to you!” Or “I do not really want to threaten anyone, but people can be easily replaced by others in cheaper labour countries.” These things leave you wondering if the person is trying to complement you, or insult you.

People might make indirect moves, such as hiding information that might be useful to you, thinking that if they share their knowledge, you might outshine them. Then there is the technique of giving you something tedious to keep you busy from actually doing something meaningful! Or purposefully not supporting an idea you have so it doesn’t grow to become something valuable.

There are A LOT of subtle games that people play to dim your light. So don’t feel you are alone in this or that you are paranoid!

If you have a fighter spirit and you have the emotional intelligence it takes (with a sprinkle of positive manipulation), you’ll be able to overcome all of this. But if you’re like me, someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, a bit impatient and cannot hide her emotions when she’s upset or excited, you might have a hard time, at least until you realise that none of this really matters.

But at the peak of it all, and when you’re in desperate need for a sanity check, you decide to talk to that colleague who seems to be the most balanced and reasonable!

If you take the risk to open up to them and you find that they see it all and that they’ve been watching the mind games at play, you’ll let out one deep sigh of relief!

And when you both have that hour-long conversation in which they reassure you and give you their honest opinion and support, that’s when you know you found your work bestie! That’s when you know life isn’t so bad! That’s when you actually look forward to coming to the office!

It’s a unique moment of gratitude and safety when you realise there is someone you can trust, truly trust, when things get rough at the office.

The resignation you prepared and almost spoke to HR about, can wait for now 🙂

Do you have a work bestie? How does it feel to you? I would love to hear all about it!