(True story)

Imagine this for a moment…

You’ve held this position for two years now. And for two years, no one at the office really celebrated your birthday. I mean, yes, they call and say the usual “Happy Birthday” over Zoom, with a background showing balloons and the sort, but no one brings cake, for example, or a card, or even a cup of coffee.           

But that’s not personal. That’s the custom you’ve seen with everyone: a text message if you’re on holiday, a call when you’re working from home, or a casual face-to-face greeting.           

Then, on the third year, things take an interesting turn!           

Your colleague, who has been giving you the silent treatment for a while and the nicest way to describe how she’s been acting is “passive-aggressive,” suddenly comes to you with the rest of the team holding a cup of microwaved mini cake with a candle, of course, and hands it to you as a birthday present!           

You see smiles, greetings, and all that sort of “niceness” around you… and you’re surprised! genuinely surprised!           

When did we start celebrating birthdays at the office? And the even more important question: when did you start liking me?!           

The cake is good; you eat it and thank them with a bit of shy scepticism. The question stays hanging, though!           

Well, maybe that’s an open door for a new start, you tell yourself.           

An hour passes, and it’s time for the team meeting, during which you will tell your teammates that you will soon start working part-time. (What led me to decide to move to part-time is a whole other story! Read it and be the judge: did I make the right decision?)           

Back to the team meeting… After all work-related issues are discussed and set aside, you say you have something to share.           

“I decided to switch to part-time to focus on my well-being after the illness I had and to make time for an online master’s degree I will start soon.”           

As a human, and especially on the day your teammates were so nice to make you a microwaved birthday cake, you’d expect a bit of interest. Whether in the degree, or why I moved to part-time, or at least a “good luck.”           

Would you be surprised to know that everyone showed some form of interest except the passive-aggressive colleague? – let’s call her Cheryl. She didn’t even blink! Not a word, or a smile! She might have been too surprised, but you’d think her efforts to be nice in the morning stood on solid ground!           

But again, maybe it’s not that surprising. There is a massive difference between niceness and genuine kindness, after all. Besides, maybe she needed time to take it all in and she’ll surely ask later over lunch or during the week, the same way she always does with the other colleagues.           

But she did’nt! Whatever… you let it pass. It doesn’t really matter anyway. Later you learn to trust your gut as you watch things go back to the same way they were before! The silent treatment way.           

This is one of my adventures in the corporate world, which I’m now convinced is not for me. The ability to navigate this world requires a certain type of nerves, that I do not have, nor do I want to have. It’s confusing, to say the least! Especially for someone who is not so cunning—for the lack of a better word!           

There is so much to share about how my relationship with Cheryl deteriorated, and I am not here to place blame. God knows I had quite an annoying character when I first started this job. And it took me a lot of inner reflection to snap out of the persona I had.           

If you like to know what led to this situation and how the corporate world messed up my priorities, I spill it all in this blog 🙂          

For now, stay true to yourself!

Have you ever been in a similar situation that left you confused or questioning your sanity? I would love to hear about it!